I love these topics, here's some of mine from the Dojo that I made a few months ago:
dynamic4.gamespy.com/~shenmuedojo/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16429&highlight=post+shenmue+bloopers#1 Ok here's if Shenmue took place in Canada:
Ine-San: I've got to stay warm, otherwise I'll get depressed
Ryo: Ya, it's a fucking snowstorm out there, eh
Ine-San: Ya eh, I hope summer comes soon
Ryo: Well I'm leaving, I have to find some sailors
Ine-San: Put a coat on, or you might catch a cold.
Later on..
Ryo: Hey John, you're a gunman in the Canadian navy, do you know where I could find sailors
John: Sailers, eh, uh, you can find Jim up north sitting on a chesterfield, wearing a toque, in his igloo
Ryo: But thats so far, isn't there any other sailers
John: Well, our navy only has one sailor, since we only have one ship, well actually its just a small fishing boat
Ryo: I See
#2 Ryo wakes up 5 days after Iwao's death and sees Lan Di and Ine-San
Ine-San: Oh you were wonderful, where did you learn those moves
Lan-Di: I'm a martial artist
Ryo: I'll kill you
Ine-San: Now Ryo, don't go killing your new Daddy.
#3
Joy: Ryo, have sex with me
Ryo: I can't, I just can't
Joy: Why not, are you gay
Ryo: No, its just that there's this girl back home
Joy: Who's that
Ryo: Her name is Ine-San, she's a bit older, but I prefer to think of her as mature
Joy: How do you know her
Ryo: She's my maid, there's something about a woman in uniform
Joy: You are one sick pervert
Ryo: I See
#4
this is lame and cheesy, but oh well, you never know...
Fuk-San: Ryo where did you go last night
Ryo: Well in My Search For Lan-Di, I walked into a Bar
Fuk-San: And what did you say
Ryo: Ouch!
#5
Ine-San: I must stay busy, otherwise I'll get depressed
Ryo: Good, you should be depressed you old bat, now I took a big shit and the toilets plugged, do your damn job and clean it
*BTW, Ever find it funny how Ryo's made pays him?
#6 (okay probably only North Americans will get the ending, I'm not sure about Europeans)
IRS Man: Hey are you Ryo-San
Ryo: Ya
IRS Man: Well, since your fathers death, uv had no source of income, have had to keep up the Dojo, buy food, and pay a maid, and keep that weird kid who bums off u
Ryo: Fine take it
IRS man takes everything, says the Dojo is now his
Ryo: Hey hold up, u cant take IneSan
IRS Man: Your maid, your property
Ryo starts to cry
Then, out of nowhere, Ashton Kutcher pops up "You've Just Been Punk'd"
#7
-Ryo goes to take the bus (its pouring rain)
-Ryo waits for an hour
Tobbaco Stand Ladie: Ryo the Bus Drivers Are On Strike
Ryo: You Couldn't of Told Me This Before My Timex got Ruined?
Tobacco Stand Ladie: Umm, anyways, you can walk down that street
Ryo starts walking down the street, hits a dead end, comes back
Tobacco Stand Ladie: Ooops, other way, the way the bus takes you
Ryo: Thanks (sarcastically)
Ryo walks down the street for hours to realize he is lost somewhere
-Its 5 and Ryo finally gets to the harbour, his boss fires him for missing his second day of work without calling, and he finds out that the Mad Angels Put his Buddy Goro in cement shoes and sent him to the bottom of the ocean when Ryo wasn't there to protect him
Later in Dobuita..
Ryo: Do you know where I can find Bus Drivers
Bartender: You mean Sailors?
Ryo: No, Bus Drivesr
Bartender: You say busdrivers, but you don't mean just any busdrivers
Ryo: Any will do
Bartender: Well theres one right over there
Ryo: Thanks
- Ryo goes over and kicks the bus drivers ass
Yu Suzuki: Cut, this is all wrong, lets backup to the beginning, without a bus driver strike this time
...Whao...
