Post by JoePesciAddict on Feb 1, 2012 0:41:18 GMT
Well, the interesting thing here is that my brother and my grandfather both committed suicide. By using a gun. My grandfather used an old WWII luger, understandably so because he was very ill, and couldn't eat or think very well at all. My uncle cleaned the gun for him and had no clue that is what his intentions were, but took his own life and left my grandmother a widow. Didn't need to try, trying implies failure and he succeeded in his goal. My brother was depressed, on Xanax and always smoking pot and drinking. I spoke to him two weeks before he died, he lived in Florida while I lived in Massachusetts, and it was right after his birthday that he did the deed. He actually was fucked up on Xanax, bought a gun at a gun show down there a few weeks before, and decided to play Russian Roulette by himself. I know a lot of the pain associated with suicide, and I have struggled with depression in the past, also wanting to kill myself sometimes. But I know that if I ever did get the true courage to go through with it, I would succeed. I would never want to botch it. I'd make sure I finished the job.
There is an old saying, "if one wants to do something, and that want isn't followed by the act of doing that something, then one must not really want to do that something." Replace 'something' with any sort of word: creating, destroying, acting, laughing, writing, reading, licking, committing suicide, etc. I really believe in this saying. Because I always say I want to make films but I have yet to act on it. If I make a film, then I really must have wanted to do it. But only time will tell in relation to the actions I take.
There is an old saying, "if one wants to do something, and that want isn't followed by the act of doing that something, then one must not really want to do that something." Replace 'something' with any sort of word: creating, destroying, acting, laughing, writing, reading, licking, committing suicide, etc. I really believe in this saying. Because I always say I want to make films but I have yet to act on it. If I make a film, then I really must have wanted to do it. But only time will tell in relation to the actions I take.