baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Dec 29, 2008 20:01:08 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Dec 29, 2008 20:01:08 GMT
Just talk and chat with each other
|
|
|
Chat
Dec 29, 2008 22:08:10 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Dec 29, 2008 22:08:10 GMT
Atta good little bitch.
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 7, 2009 22:15:48 GMT
Post by ShenmueAddict on Jan 7, 2009 22:15:48 GMT
wow this is amazing topic!
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 8, 2009 1:52:45 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 8, 2009 1:52:45 GMT
Eye Ah-gee-or-eeh-eeeh
|
|
Gorek
Senior Hazuki
Posts: 3,736
|
Chat
Jan 18, 2009 15:29:26 GMT
Post by Gorek on Jan 18, 2009 15:29:26 GMT
Halo 3 Rules.....
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 0:38:32 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 19, 2009 0:38:32 GMT
It seems that all the other game reviewers in the world have been put me in an awkward position, bunch of cock-eaters to a man as they are. Most, if not all, of them seem to have played a jewel-encrusted golden gift from the treasure vaults of Xerxes, but I played a game that I probably would’ve only considered renting if it weren’t for those suckers at The Escapist paying for all my games now. Part of the problem may be that I’ve never actually played a Halo game until this one. Maybe you need all the back-story to get the experience all the other reviewers were apparently having, or maybe Microsoft was paying someone to stand behind them jamming needles full of dopamine into their spinal columns every half hour. All I knew going into the game was this: there's some guy named Master Chief who's constantly wearing a suit of armour that's probably in dire need of some odor-eaters by this point and this series is apparently so good that Xbox owners have been tossing each other off with glee in anticipation for this third installment. I picked up a few things on my way through the game, like how the Earth has been conquered by evil aliens, only some of the aliens are good by some arbitrary designation, and there are those other aliens which are basically just the head crabs from Half-Life in disguise, and there are big rings in space that make things die somehow, and Master Chief has a friend who is basically the black guy from Predator. If you asked me to summarize Halo 3 into one word, I’d tell you to stop being such a twat, but if pressed, I guess I'd go for "schizophrenic". It can’t seem to decide on a tone. At times it goes the horror route with the aforementioned head crab malarkey, but at other times you’ve got enemy midgets sounding and acting like retarded Ewoks making (finger quotes) “wacky” dialogue. And it’s hard to take things seriously when most of the guns look and sound like they were manufactured by Mattel. The difficulty curve wavers up and down like the knickers of an indecisive whore before plunging dramatically into a Sunday stroll down Easy Street for the last hour or so. There were sequences really near the beginning that kicked my arse until I was wearing my buttocks like a hat, while the closest thing to a final boss fight is basically you versus a wheelchair-bound, cross-eyed hobbit and you’re armed with the BFG 9000. I didn't pay... I mean, The Escapist didn't pay $100 Australian for a game that is only half decent, especially not one reviewers have been throwing perfect scores like bunches of roses to a bullfighter. A game that is supposed to be perfect wouldn't need anything to excuse it. "Quod erat demonstrandum", said Yahtzee like the big literary fag that he is. Before all the Microsoft fanboys come to my house and take it in turns to whittle through my letterbox, let my qualify my statements by saying that Halo 3 is by no means bad. What it is, is average. Boilerplate. Run-of-the-mill. A competent shooter, its only remarkable feature being the degree to which it's stuck up its own arse. Everything it does has been done before, and better. It's definitely not as good as Bioshock. In fact, its made me look back on that 15 hours of objectivist fol-de-rol more charitably, so in other words, Halo 3 is what it took for me to finally make me lower my standards and I hope it's proud of itself.
|
|
Gorek
Senior Hazuki
Posts: 3,736
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 17:48:21 GMT
Post by Gorek on Jan 19, 2009 17:48:21 GMT
Bothered, and oh so does call of duty: world at war.
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 19:04:03 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 19, 2009 19:04:03 GMT
Why you bothered? You shouldn't be bothered.
|
|
baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 19:29:11 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Jan 19, 2009 19:29:11 GMT
Speaking of shooters, BioShock is brilliant. Not so much for the (somewhat easy) game play, but the storyline and atmosphere - brilliantly written. It's good at the start, but it dips a bit on the middle (I think to drag out the gameplay; save it being too short an experience), and then picks up a the end, with a great finale and plot twist. The first scene is just amazing. The sense of helplessness and curiosity just pulls you in. I recommend it.
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 22:35:41 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 19, 2009 22:35:41 GMT
Your recommendation is noted but probably wont get acted upon.
|
|
baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Jan 19, 2009 22:50:51 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Jan 19, 2009 22:50:51 GMT
Didn't expect you to act upon it. Or anyone actually...
|
|
Gorek
Senior Hazuki
Posts: 3,736
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 16:32:07 GMT
Post by Gorek on Jan 21, 2009 16:32:07 GMT
Why you bothered? You shouldn't be bothered. It's of a english thing your fool, it was sarcasm. Also I played bioshock for all of 30 seconds before deciding i didn't like it never played it again and have since sold it.
|
|
baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 18:47:15 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Jan 21, 2009 18:47:15 GMT
How the fuck can you judge a game after thirty seconds? Don't try to give me any of this hyperbole rubbish either. BioShock is awesome. You're wrong.
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 20:57:15 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 21, 2009 20:57:15 GMT
Only one way to settle this. Halo 3 vs Bioshock rap battle!!!
|
|
baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 21:05:44 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Jan 21, 2009 21:05:44 GMT
Oh how I love BioShock Now THERE is a game I would love to fock there aren't many games I would stick in my cock It's like masturbation with the use of a sock! That is one game you should never knock Gorek likes to wear a frock.
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 21:15:37 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 21, 2009 21:15:37 GMT
Ohhh, burn on that G, unless you can come back with something betta, yo
|
|
Gorek
Senior Hazuki
Posts: 3,736
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 21:23:56 GMT
Post by Gorek on Jan 21, 2009 21:23:56 GMT
Halo 3 ain't so lame, Dissin it, what a shame, Hey now heres a hint, That bioshock just ain't so mint, Bioshock it's like some pains, My brain does burn if it retains, 30 secs to bore, 30 secs please no more, Halo 3 ain't so lame, You taste is just a shame, Your Mum and Dad, Are Bro and Sis, That fad is wack, So deal wid dis, Your brain is lame, Now thats a shame. Halo 3 to rocks, Now put that in your socks.
|
|
baby beedle hitler
Senior Hazuki
The official S.U.K. pope
1%
the chipper oirish black prez
Posts: 2,396
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 21:45:40 GMT
Post by baby beedle hitler on Jan 21, 2009 21:45:40 GMT
Why listen to my (awesome) opinion, Rick*, When you can take note of those folk at Metacritic? (see here and here, you pitiable hick) Your lack of taste makes me sick, are you really that thick?; to even compare halo you're taking the mick! That game would go nowhere near my dick Nor would I even lick I've had more fun with a brick, It's not even a game I would nick! I'd probably listen if you were less of a dick, You daft prick *May not be your name... ick
|
|
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 23:05:31 GMT
Post by GinfnersAddict on Jan 21, 2009 23:05:31 GMT
Why listen to my (awesome) opinion, Rick*, When you can take note of those folk at Metacritic? (see here and here, you pitiable hick) Your lack of taste makes me sick, are you really that thick?; to even compare halo you're taking the mick! That game would go nowhere near my dick Nor would I even lick I've had more fun with a brick, It's not even a game I would nick! I'd probably listen if you were less of a dick, You daft prick *May not be your name... ick
|
|
Gorek
Senior Hazuki
Posts: 3,736
|
Chat
Jan 21, 2009 23:08:52 GMT
Post by Gorek on Jan 21, 2009 23:08:52 GMT
Why listen to my (awesome) opinion, Rick*, When you can take note of those folk at Metacritic? (see here and here, you pitiable hick) Your lack of taste makes me sick, are you really that thick?; to even compare halo you're taking the mick! That game would go nowhere near my dick Nor would I even lick I've had more fun with a brick, It's not even a game I would nick! I'd probably listen if you were less of a dick, You daft prick *May not be your name... ick There is no rythem o that you blow, also bioshock was boring from second 1
|
|